To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to be against capital punishment but for abortion
on demand --- in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing the
innocent.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe that the same public school teacher who
can't teach 4th graders how to read is qualified to teach those same kids
about sex and morals.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Red Chinese.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe that all criminals can be successfully
rehabilitated after a short prison stay if only enough funds were available.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe that forcing able bodied people to work
for a living is immoral while allowing such people to live a life of leisure
on public welfare is fair and equitable.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe that global temperatures are less affected
by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the sun, and more
affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
gay is natural.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe that a mother staying at home with the
children is unfulfilled while children who get little at home supervision
can depend on the public schools to substitute for parents.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe that if <even one> individual is put
on death row by a jury and later found innocent, then the death penalty
is evil and should not ever be used again.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe there was no art before federal funding.
To be a liberal
.... you have to believe that it is OK for a politician to distort
the facts in order to influence people and gain a political objective.
To be a liberal
.... you have to believe that politicians can have low moral character
and still be great leaders.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe the military, not inept politicians, start
wars.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe the NRA is bad, because they stand up for
certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they
stand up for certain parts of the Constitution.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but
racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe conservatives are racists but that black
people couldn't make it without your help.
To be a liberal,
.... you have to believe the all defense contractors are evil and
vile scum, but it's okay to work for them and collect a healthy paycheck
--- as long as you despise what they represent.
(Authors unknown)